Allie is so excited to be in school. She was ready for preschool last year, but there were some things I didn't want her to learn yet. Sure enough... it's begun. Yesterday as I was making dinner she said, "Mom, you know what Grace Cutler said to me while we were waiting in line for History? She said- 'you're kind of fat' to me". "How did that make you feel?" I asked. "Not very good" was Allie's response. On a funnier note, a couple days ago Jack Ownen (she has two Jack's in her class) said he wanted to kiss her! So boys want to kiss her and girls want to call her fat already, in preschool. Now, I'm sure it was all innocent enough and little miss Grace didn't intend to be mean.
I guess it brings back all kinds of feelings for me. I was a chubby kid, I was also always taller than most everyone. In 5th grade I was 5'7" and began to shop in the same section as my mom. Looking back at my pictures now, I was not fat- not even close. It was too late, the damage was done. By that I mean I had already decided, from feedback of others, that I was fat and they were right. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw what others said, not the truth. Sometimes even still I struggle with it.
I knew it would happen to Allie as well. I guess I just hoped it wouldn't happen in preschool. She's going to be tall and in a few years, she'll hit her growth spurt and stretch right out. Until then, I hope we can help her to have a better perception of herself than I had. She has the right parents to help her with this challenge. We both have had our struggles with being ostracized for size. Eventually it worked out to our favor (for boys more than girls) with sports and such. I hope to be able to help her see her value, that she is precious to us and that different is just different, not an indicator of worth.